The Light

(c) by JD Daniels
1997


as i lie here in the darkness,
alone, cold, afraid,
unknowing of who i am,
why i'm here
or who i possibly was.

as i lay here in the shadows,
knowing, yearning for so much more,
unaware of what tomorrow will bring.
only that there must be so much more;
than this lonely miserable existence.

as i rest here in this oblivion;
a place that is everything but nothing,
i hold the fragmented pieces of my shattered dreams,
long after the sharp edges have cut my flesh,
and poured out my life-essence onto the bitter earth.

when i thought no worse could come,
it was then the greatest storm struck,
my world, my realm, began to collapse upon itself.
it's sun, the only source of precious life sustaining light,
began to fade.

and i was left in darkness, all alone, afraid,
my tears soaked onto the already salted earth,
and my pleas fell to the ears of the deaf gods.
no one could help me.
no one could save me.
the flame of my existence began to grow dim,
with each passing moment;
the flames of any joy left in this unhappy soul,
threatened to be extinguished.

and then you entered my world.
with your innocent eyes and bright smile,
you rekindled the flames.
your laughter and joy,
unburied feelings so long constrained.
unknowingly you fed the fire,
unaware you healed the wounds.

you recreated genesis, within my world.
your life, your strength, your passion, your courage, your
innocence, your energies, your joys, your soul.
it infuses me.
it suffuses me.
it inspires me.
it gives me strength.
it gives me hope.
it gives me life.

you are the light.
you are the bright one.
you are the brilliance.

you are the source of my hopes, my dreams, my world.
you rekindle the fires of my soul, the flames of my passion,
as if you place one flame to another, you have rekindled the
blaze of my life.
as i carry your light,
the darkness seems less lonely,
the shadows, less frightening,
and the void, less empty.

with your light i can overcome any obstacle.
with your light i can reach any goal.
with your light i can dream any dream.

you are the light, that brings balance to the dark.

The Rhythm of Life

They watched her face, intently, as the low light of the lapping flames of the bonfire cast shadows on the woman's gently aging face.

Worthless.

Unloved.

Powerless.

Pathetic.

Broken.

Unwanted.

That is what they had been called them only what seemed like hours ago.

Their pain, still fresh and their souls still bleeding.

Now, these people danced, with her,

to a song, that was not playing.

They moved their bodies, danced with their souls,

to a beat they had no idea what it was, but they could not help it.

She clutched her shawl tightly with her elbows as she flung her hands into the air.

The deafening vacuum of silence was the only thing they heard

until her words rolled off her tongue, flowing into their parched, eager ears.

"My name.. " she spoke, her soft voice ringing out into the darkness "Is not important, but you can call me what you wish."

For a moment, there were only the sounds of her breathing.

"My dear and precious children.

Has it truly been so long that you have forgotten?

You have stopped listening and closed your eyes to the world.

You fight the very essence of what you are, to become something you are pretending that you are better than.

Something a little less than what you were meant to be. 

That true part of you, like some tree limb.

You try to tear it from yourself, not knowing the consequences or repercussions for your actions.

Oh precious, precious children.

It is time to wake from your long slumber and embrace paradise here.

Long ago, the world was empty, dark and void.

Gaia, she was barren and lifeless.

With a single tiny sound, it all began.

It echoed throughout the planet, shaping, shifting, molding.

And as quickly as it happened, it faded away.

Just as the rolls of silence set in, there was another, and another, and another.

First, weak and dim and unsteady.

Beat by beat they grew stronger.

And that, is the Rhythm of Life.

We are all bound to it.

It is rhythms, shaping, forming, setting, the beat of our own hearts, even before we are created within the womb.

And no power on earth can escape it.

You can either embrace it, or choose to accept the chaos of silence.

It binds all beings here on earth.

It is the force that makes the stars twinkle their pure light brightly in

the heavens.

The driving force sets the sun in its path along the topaz sky.

We human beings.

We are different.

And if you think I mean superior, think again.

No.

We have free will, we can choose to just sit by, and watch,

or pretend to ignore the beat, try to resist or perhaps.. we could join in the dance.

After all dear one, this is the best sound.

The Rhythm of Life.

Sure, there will be times when the beat gets a little mellow, or unbearably heavy,  or maybe so soft you strain to hear it.

But the rhythm is still there.

Whether or not you choose to listen, the beats still go on.

And sacred one, so do you.

When you think you are all alone, and it is dark.

And you are standing at the edge.

Close your eyes, and trust in the rhythm,

let it take you over. And take that leap.

Cause, it will be there to catch you.

How did you get to this place??

How did you get full of so much rage and pain?

When did you stop listening to the beat?

When did your light give way to such utter darkness??

You see, we are human beings.

just flesh and blood. and energy.

and at times we fall into the eternal chasms,

and at times we  rise to dizzying unimaginable summits.

                       

We are born into this place,

cold, alone and afraid.

and we leave this place the very same way.

And ultimately join the rhythm of all things,

echoing through what has been and what is yet to be.

                       

It is what you do between the sacred mysteries

of life and death that make it all worthwhile.

                       

And sometimes, we loose our step in the dance.

Just make up the steps, or take lead from those around you.

We are not just human beings.

Not any age, race, or sex.

We are all connected in the beat.

As are you, and you, and you.

There is no greater or less than in the beat.

Cause, in the rhythm we are all equal.

Now, before I go let me tell you something.

Remember, it is the message that is important, not the messenger.

You have to stop getting the two mixed up.

Everything in life happens for a reason.

We may not see it at the time, or we may never see it.

But every person, every kindred spirit that we come in contact with,

we leave them a little beat of our own rhythm, in themselves.

Sometimes that little beat of rhythm can change the song.

My job here is done.

Tell you what. You forget what I just told you, go back to your life, and ignore it.

or..

Perhaps you would care to dance??”

(c )J.D.Daniels 3/14/05

Cracking Dam

Today, I feel my dam cracking

Splitting, Tearing, Etching.

While holding back my terrible weight of lifetimes of me.

Splitting Seams, Leaking Seals.

Holding water like fabric.

Not even the release of tears eases the pressure.

Water rises about me.

Fiery anger, bitter confusion, endless sorrow.

Rising around me.

Holding in my precious breath.

But like all things,

It will not last.

All around me.

No Guide, No Sense

Just murky and clouded.

How do I move on from here?

Today, I feel my dam cracking

Splitting, Tearing, Etching.

While holding back my terrible weight of lifetimes of me.

Splitting Seams, Leaking Seals.

Holding water like fabric.

Not even the release of tears eases the pressure.

Water rises about me.

Fiery anger, bitter confusion, endless sorrow.

Rising around me.

Holding in my precious breath.

But like all things,

It will not last.

All around me.

No Guide, No Sense

Just murky and clouded.

How do I move on from here?

(c) copy write 2006 - J.D Daniels
May not be used or reproduced without permission.

Light of Life

stooping, crying, weeping sobbing
uncontrollably.
here in this dark corner.
but this is mine. it's all i have.

i can hear them.
screaming, howling, screeching.
the demons.

but i am safe.
here in the darkness. alone.
comforting, empty.

no one can touch me,
hurt me, love me.

blackness.
swirling around me,
clinging, covering, clenching,
never letting go. 

For here i cannot see what really is.
who i am really am.

but you.
you and those bright eyes.
you and that goddamn laugh.

how dare you??
how dare you??
how dare you, waltz into my life?

it's mine. only mine.
you and your damn smile.
how dare you just stroll in here??

ringing that goddamn doorbell, which announced your arrival
like some seraphim's trumpet.

how dare you??
just come into my world,
disrupt the darkness around me??

what right did you have?
what goddamn right did you have to bring your
filthy light??

who gave you the right to expose me??
all i am,
all i was.
what i would not see.


who are you?
to just think that you could bring your light in here?
to make me see just what i was??

i was content in my darkness. blissful in my ignorance.
i did not want to know i could love.
i did not want to know i could care,
i did not want to fucking know how beautiful i could feel.

i could never have imagined,
how brightly the colors shone in the light.
how beautiful life could be.
but what does that matter???

it all looks the same in the dark.

but your light,
your fucking precious light,

leaves a yearning.
an emptiness. a void.

one that now, my precious darkness cannot fill.

what right have you??
who gave you permission??

how dare you expose me?
taint me with impurities,
in the dark i was perfect.

but now i see.. and it's all your fault.
you made me a part of your whole.. i can hear it..

the song, the song of the light,
resonating long after i have hid from it's garish brightness

to the cool dark.
i cannot escape it.
i have one thing to tell you.
listen closely to my words.


come back. I'm so very afraid of the dark.

(c) copy write 1996 - J.D Daniels
May not be used or reproduced without permission.